Thursday, September 26, 2019

Talking to not strangers


Here we go again; another of those bits about how to talk and listen. To wit: a conversation!
This one's on TED Talks: "How to have a better conversation".

Naturally, to have a conversation you have to be in the conversation. But with everyone staring at screens all day, and text more popular than talk, it's no small matter to actually have a conversation the old fashioned way: actually paying attention to another person, responding in a two-way conversation.

I heard the TED person say this, which somehow captures the idea:
"You don't need to learn how to pay attention if, in fact, you're paying attention"
Meaning, of course, that paying attention comes naturally if you're actually doing it; and if you're not, it's quite evident to the other person in the conversation.

And, here's another thing: it takes two to converse, but sometimes the least said the better.
Calvin Cooledge (former US President if you're not sure who that is) is quoted:
No man listened himself out of a job
 Meaning, of course, that a conversation where you are saying stupid stuff is probably not the conversation to have, even in text form

And, for the metrics among us, we are told:
The average speaker speaks 250 words per minute, but we are capable of understanding at twice that rate
Question: what are you doing with the whitespace? Mulitasking? Or, as Covey would have us do: listen with the intent of understanding

A good conversationalist is always prepared to be amazed! 







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